So, here I sit. It’s four thirty in the morning and I can’t stop crying. It’s a remarkable thing, when a book makes you cry.
Here’s the thing, this book was about cancer. More specifically, children dying from cancer. I haven’t been able to think about children dying from cancer for a long time. I just can’t. I break down sobbing every time that I do that. I volunteered at Children’s Healing Art Project for years, and it changed my life. It broke my heart at times, just like this book. Those CHAP kids all had cancer.
It’s just so goddamned unfair. Cancer is so unfair. People die before they’re supposed to, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Most likely because the cure for this horrendous disease has been eradicated from the Rainforest due to cattle being raised for McDonald’s. The world is fucked up.
And I sit here, after going out all night and seeing people intentionally poison themselves. Ingest harmful toxins into their bodies for the sheer FUN of it all, while others just try and stay alive on a day to day basis. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I just really do not understand anything about this world.
What I do know, however, is that I am incredibly lucky. BUT, in reality, we are all stuck in the same sinking boat….so really I’m not so lucky. And neither is anyone else. And we’re all dealt a different hand of cards, and no one gets to pick their cards. So we have what we have and sometimes it’s fucking shitty and unfair, and sometimes it isn’t. And I guess that’s life. So it goes.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, it’s that I really can’t read books about cancer or the Holocaust late at night. Because it’ll honestly and truly make me go insane.
The end.
